Late Night Bacon

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I made this recipe and didn't enjoy it so much, but then my uncle said I was not supposed to eat the paper towel and the next time it was better. But not much.

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Well, I was hosting a late-night get together and there were a large number of people coming (over 100 and I didn't have time to microwave each batch. So I used a whole hog, and a regular towel. It wouldn’t fit in the microwave so I just used my dryer (which is on the second floor at the top of our stairs. I set it to high and put it on for 4 hours and push start. The party starts a couple hours later, and I go into the house to check on the pig, and my dryer is shaking violently. I run up stairs and open it, and this massive spinning, flaming hog barrels down the stairs and kills 2 people. However, it was cooked perfectly, would try again!
Pros: Very tasty!
Cons: im going to jail

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My kitchen was pretty bare so I substituted some frozen mixed vegetables and also I didn't have a microwave but I figured a toaster was pretty close. Well, some sparks started shooting out but it hadn't been four minutes yet so I kept waiting and now it's been six minutes and it's very hot and there's lots of smoke and I don't know what to do, I'm not some food genius with hundreds of hours in the kitchen what am I supposed to do?! Oh, so much smoek it hard toa reak the srcreen help rackel yourmy oanly hope canet breth ono

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Some clever, cost-saving and GREEN alternatives!

1 Slather the bacon over bare feet prior to cooking. Takes the chill off and reduces cooking time. And a cost-effective way to moisturize your dry dogs

2 Sub paper towels for a SHAMWOW. You'll save a tree and feel better about yourself. AND money from the ShamWow will in turn be put into a Dont-Slap-A-Hooker Charity Fund.

3. Substitute the 4-6 minutes in your microwave for 4-6 days on your kitchen windowsill. You'll be saving on gobs on your electric bill while simultaneously doing your part to encourage the circle of life with the ensuing flies and maggots!

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It's good to know that RR is willing to tackle the really difficult recipes and simplify them so we don't have to. She certainly earns her "big bucks"! You go Rachael! Must print this recipe out NOW before it's gone. Where's the bacon?? Oops I had it in the dishwasher. Guess I wasn't told to keep it in the refrigerator.

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When I read all the negative (and some hilarious reviews, I wondered, "How could anyone screw up a microwave recipe with just ONE ingredient?" Well, I did. After a few minutes, my microwave's safety feature activated and stopped microwaving due to the raised temperature. It was filled with foul-smelling fume. Anyhow, I took out the plate with the bacon on it and as I lifted up the top layer of the kitchen paper to witness this black, gooey blob. It obviously changed its chemical compound.

This will not, however, stop my search for ultimate recipes on this website, so I will just keep on looking. If interested, please see my photo. (Not recommended for a faint-hearted!

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I didn't have any paper towels, so I crammed a bacon covered bath towel into the microwave instead. After 3 minutes the whole thing caught fire and exploded. Thanks a lot Rachael. Now I have to get a new microwave and paint over the burnt spots on the wall.

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this recipe is sooooooo hard I burnt my bacon
and i won next food network star

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Are you serious?!

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Can you trademark recipes? Cause I think I had this while eating fourth meal. Wait, maybe it was only second meal. Anyway, we better not let the major chains catch on to this and ruin it with their fancy marketing. I love the thought that right now, I'm one of the very few that's in on this Late Night Bacon craze.

Also, Yo mama so stupid, she makes Late Night Bacon early in the day.