30 of the Best, Craziest Things Ever Said in Iron Chef America's Kitchen Stadium

It's no secret that the Iron Chef America judges have tasted just about everything. But they — and the viewers — have also heard it all too. Look back on the most-memorable quotes ever.

Photo By: Anders Krusberg

Photo By: Todd Plitt

Photo By: Anders Krusberg

"Whose cuisine will reign supreme?" — The Chairman

This is the question on which all Iron Chef battles are based, and in many cases, the answers have left competitors in tears.

"Allez! Cuisine!" — The Chairman

Perhaps the two most-revered words ever uttered in Kitchen Stadium, "Allez! Cuisine!" literally translates to "Go! Kitchen!" This phrase marks the official beginning of every battle.

"I say unto you in the words of my uncle." — The Chairman

Second only to "Allez! Cuisine!" this powerful sentence said by the Chairman reminds all competitors of the longstanding tradition of Iron Chefdom.

"I hate this." — Bobby Flay

The stress was getting to him in the final moments of battle, and he nearly crumbled under pressure.

"The secret to using the Secret Ingredient is knowing when not to use it." — Alex Guarnaschelli

She uttered this wise phrase during Battle Jerky, but it would surely apply to any and all Secret Ingredients.

"If you overwork this, I will kill you." — Geoffrey Zakarian

When the Chairman unveiled his Culinary Curveball to be a human-powered bicycle that churns ice cream, Iron Chef Zakarian was forced to leave his ice cream base in someone else's hands. And the Iron Chef made sure the bicycle rider knew just how much this ice cream meant to him.

"These guys are using everything but the oink." — Alton Brown

Given that Alton said this during Battle Suckling Pig, we're taking it to be a good thing.

"I have ice cream paranoia." — Alex Guarnaschelli

From the looks of this soupy mess, we can see why, Iron Chef.

"I can fix it. I'm an Iron Chef, for God's sake." — Alex Guarnaschelli

We never doubted you, Alex.

"Tick, tock. The Chairman wants his dinner." — Alex Guarnaschelli

Leave it to the Chairman's newest Iron Chef to keep her team and her rival in check when it comes to the dwindling time left on the clock.

"I'm getting too old for this s---." — Michael Symon

We hope this was just the stress of battle talking, because we quite enjoy watching Michael showcase his stellar skills in Kitchen Stadium.

"We are going to just bomb them with mascarpone so that they have no choice but to crown us victorious." — Alex Guarnaschelli

If you ask us, this seems like a fine approach to Battle Mascarpone.

"I'm purposely staying away from you, Kevin. You ask too many questions." — Chef Clark

Challenger Chef Clark joked with Kevin Brauch about the floor reporter's interview tactics.

"Chairman, it's time for these new kids on the block to take this boy band down." — Alex Guarnaschelli

With one simple (and downright punny) sentence, Alex set up what would ultimately become an infamous battle of herself and Geoffrey against a team of Bobby and Michael.

"You think Geoffrey was around at the first Thanksgiving?" — Michael Symon

After Alex's "boy band" quip, Michael was sure to poke a little fun at one half of Team Zakarian-Guarnaschelli before the cooking began.

"I'm going to have a heart attack." — Alex Guarnaschelli

Each Iron Chef handles the stress of a battle differently, and now we know how Alex deals.

 

"Lady with a baby." — Michael Symon

Though he's not carrying an infant, Michael is cradling a precious turchetta, a holiday-worthy hybrid that ultimately wowed the judges.

"I hate when there's, like, a minute left to go, and you're like, 'Oh, yeah, I still have to cook something.'" — Bobby Flay

Spoken like a true battle-tested competitor, Iron Chef.

 

"Bobby, please quit saying 'Oh, s---.'" — Michael Symon

As the time slipped away in the team battle that saw Bobby and Michael working together, Bobby couldn't help but let a few curse words slip. But his buddy made sure to keep him in check.

"C'mon. Let's get some smiling going. Through all that sweating, how about some top teeth?" — Alex Guarnaschelli

Alex did her part to keep up the momentum in Kitchen Stadium.

"Happy Halloween, b------." — Alex Guarnaschelli

In a super-spooky Halloween battle, Alex flashed a sly grin as she worked on an element of her team's dish.

"When in doubt, pressure cook it." — Challenger Vigneron

Indeed, Chef Vigneron. With only 60 minutes to cook any and all massive proteins, a pressure cooker is a smart way to quickly tenderize meat.

"Don't stress me." — Alex Guarnaschelli

We wouldn't dare, Iron Chef.

"Get out." — Michael Symon

After his challenger Chef Fraser wowed the crowd by beginning battle sans sous chefs, Michael too kicked out his team. And with that, the first-ever one-on-one battle was underway.

"Ow." — Bobby Flay

It turns out that not even Iron Chefs have hands of steel, because when Bobby attempted to hold a piece of tuna just inches from the grill, he too felt the heat.

"I hate this part so much." — Bobby Flay

The anxiety, the commotion, the (inevitable) sweating — there's not much about the final moments of battle that isn't endlessly nerve-racking.

"We're all about flavor on this side." — Bobby Flay

Bobby said this during a battle with luxury Secret Ingredients, but we're pretty sure this sums up his Kitchen Strategy each and every time he competes.

"I'm never eating trout again." — Alex Guarnaschelli

She'd helped Iron Chef Zakarian break down countless trout, so it's no surprise that she was simply over the fish at this point.

"This power couple may be out of the honeymoon phase." — Alton Brown

The host made this observation after noticing a particularly heated exchange between Iron Chef Zakarian and his then-sous chef, Alex.

"It brings out my sensitive side." — Michael Symon

Michael said this in regard to the miniature popcorn popper during Battle Olive, and we have to agree with him.

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