Costco Is Selling a 5-Tier Wedding Cake Made of Cheese

Our culture’s current conflation of romance and cheese continues. If this year’s heralded collection of heart-shaped Valentine’s Day cheeses is Exhibit A, Exhibit B has got to be a five-tier wedding cake with each tier a giant round of a different kind of gourmet cheese.

Did someone just say, “I do”? (I did.)

The Sid Wainer & Son Cheese Lover Artisan Wedding Cake brings a whole new meaning to the idea of cheese cake (two words, not one). It features about 24 pounds of globally sourced gourmet cheeses, serves between 105 and 150 people, and is available on Costco.com for the relatively reasonable price of $439.99, with two-day shipping and handling included. (A survey conducted by The Knot suggests most couples spend around $540 for their wedding cake.)

“The Cheese Lover Celebration Cake is a striking and delicious alternative to a classic centerpiece, cake, or cheese board,” the Costco product page boasts. “Simply decorate with flowers, ribbons, or edible garnishes tailored to your own color scheme” for your wedding or formal event.

The cheese layers, of various hues, come separately and must be refrigerated, unwrapped and stacked (largest round on the bottom graduating to smallest on top) and decorated to suit. (You must supply your own flowers and doodads.)

The cheeses themselves sound mighty tasty: You get an 8-pound wheel of

Kilchurn Estate Red Leicester, which is like an English Cheddar, featuring a “sweet, medium-strong flavor and crumbly texture” and “a deep russet red color,” courtesy of ground annatto seeds.

On top of that you’ll place a 7-pound round of Danish Blue cheese. Veined and crumbly, it has a flavor described as “subtle,” “tangy” and “mild.”

Midway up you’ll stack a 5-pound drunken goat cheese, Murcia al Vino, made in Spain from the milk of grass-and-herb-grazed Murciano-Granadina goats. Their “intensely flavorful cheese” is dried, soaked in Murcia wine and aged for 75 days.

Nearing the top you’ll place a 3-pound round of Tuscan Sheep’s Cheese, that has been salt-cured and “aged for 60 days in natural grottos on beechwood boards” to produce a “clay-like aroma” and a “smooth, even rind with a semi-firm texture,” as well as a “slightly sharp, but nutty taste.”

At the pinnacle of the whole shebang you’ll perch a rich 17-ounce Brillat Savarin Triple Cream Brie from Normandy, France, which has a “soft, velvety texture and creamy flavor” and is described in the product copy as “heavenly.”

Perhaps not for lactose intolerant couples and, true, it might be best to skip the sleeping-with-a-slice-under-your-pillow tradition (oooh – funky dreams!), but for those who want to slice into something novel on their big day, this nontraditional cake could make a perfect foundation for the traditional cheesy bride-and-groom cake topper.

Image courtesy of Costco Wholesale

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