A Letter to Lenny, from the Rebel
Out of all the seasons of Food Network Star, I can think of only one other winner who has a personality as big as yours. Congratulations and welcome to the Food Network family. You deserve this. From the moment you set foot on our screens, America couldn't take its eyes off you, and it wasn't because of the sequins.
You exude confidence. You nailed it in the finale when you told that kid you are happy in your own skin, so why not bare it? We're a little alike, in that regard. You aren't afraid to be you. I look forward to seeing what sort of walls you break down in your new position.
From that wacky lobster French toast (you been readin' my playbook?) to the coffee-rubbed lamb burgers, we all wanted to see what you'd cook next. The culinary and camera challenges you have overcome are designed to defeat the best. From here, all you have to do is keep your knife sharp and your cutting board clean. There are no impossible tasks for a Food Network Star.
The next few months are going to be crazy. To me, it was like growing up all over again, but with a lot more fun, cameras, money and the smarts of having been through it before. You're going to evolve a little bit.
People will get starstruck. It's a real condition that affects millions of people. The inability to speak, a loss of color, clammy hands and a monosyllabic speech pattern are all symptoms. I use a defibrillation technique: I do something shockingly normal so the victim realizes I'm just a normal human. Today I told some fans that I didn't take a shower. Sometimes I ask them if I have food in my teeth. You'll have to develop a tactic for this. It's weird, man, but you will love them nonetheless.
People will be waiting for you to mess up. We now have a word for these people: trolls. Don't let the trolls bug you and don't ever read the comments. Also, don't read the Google predictive searches, especially "Is ___Lenny McNab__." America is still mostly concerned with whether I wear lipstick.
That's about it, man. Go break the stallion of fame. In this rodeo, I'll be your clown anytime.