Smorgastarta

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Avocado Chicken Club:

1/4 to 1/2 cup buttermilk

Juice of 2 limes

2 avocados

1 rotisserie chicken, shredded

4 slices cooked bacon, chopped

3 tablespoons chopped fresh chives

3 scallions (white and green parts), sliced

Kosher salt

Pimento Cheese:

2 cups grated Cheddar

1/2 cup mayonnaise

3 tablespoons chopped pimento

Ham Salad:

1 pound deli ham, processed in food processor

2 tablespoons Dijon mustard

6 bread and butter pickles, minced

2 stalks celery, minced

2 scallions (white and green parts), minced

1 small red onion, minced

1 pickled jalapeno, seeded and minced

Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper

Ranch Frosting:

3 pounds cubed cream cheese

1/2 to 3/4 cup buttermilk

1 tablespoon white wine vinegar

1 clove garlic, grated on a rasp

1 tablespoon grated onion

1 pain de mie, crusts removed and sliced horizontally into 4 pieces

Toppings: sliced radishes, cucumber flowers, carrot flowers, sliced hard-boiled eggs, tomato flowers, parsley leaves, dill leaves, chives, etc.