Special equipment: latex gloves for handling peppers, optional, and 40 toothpicks
Preheat the oven to 275 degrees F. Set a wire rack over a baking sheet.
If you have them, slip on some latex gloves for the pepper prep. Cut the jalapenos in half lengthwise. With a spoon, remove the seeds and white membranes (the source of the heat; leave a little if you like things HOT). Smear cream cheese into each jalapeno half and then wrap with a bacon piece (1/2 slice). Secure by sticking a toothpick through the middle. Place on the rack in the baking sheet.
Bake until the bacon is sizzling and done, 1 hour 15 minutes. Serve immediately, or they're also great at room temperature.