Slice the boule horizontally and lay the two halves on a cutting board cut-side up. Spread the mayonnaise and mustard evenly over the top half of the bread. Layer the bottom half evenly with the mortadella, folding the slices in half and shingling them in concentric circles. Repeat with the salami, pepperoni and provolone.
Layer the pickles and lettuce on top of the provolone, then drizzle with olive oil and red wine vinegar. Season with salt and pepper, layer on the potato chips and top with the remaining half of the boule.
Secure each egg half, cut-side facing out, to the top half of the boule with a toothpick, evenly spacing them out in a circle. Hang an olive ring on the exposed end of each toothpick. Slice the sandwich into 8 wedges and serve.
If you can’t find crab-spiced potato chips, you can use regular salted potato chips. If you can’t find beet-pickled eggs, you can use plain hard-boiled eggs.
Never leave a child unattended in the kitchen. Limit the child to tasks that are safe and age-appropriate.