Place the meat in the freezer for 1 hour, so that it will be easier to cut.
Slice the meat with the grain as thin as humanly possible.
Mix brine ingredients right in a resealable plastic bag (placing the bag inside a large plastic container will make this easier.)
Place meat strips in brine. Move the meat around so the marinade is evenly distributed around it. Seal bag, working out as much air as humanly possible.
Lay bag flat in the plastic container and refrigerate for 3 to 6 hours.
Remove meat from the brine and drain on cooling racks. Discard the brine.
When the meat is dry place it inside Blo-hard 3000 and set fan to medium. Leave overnight or for at least 12 hours.
If you don't find yourself in possession of a Blo-hard 3000, place strips directly on oven racks.
Heat oven to lowest setting and use a blob of foil as a wedge to hold door ajar.
Oven-dry overnight or until meat reaches a consistency of your liking.
Store in zip-top bag or jar in a cool dark place for 30 or 40 years or until fuzzy stuff starts to grow on it.