For the cake: Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F. Spray an 8-by-4-inch loaf pan with nonstick cooking spray. Line with parchment paper, leaving excess on the long sides of the pan for easy removal of the cake.
Add the granulated sugar, butter and cream cheese to a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment. Cream on medium speed until the mixture is smooth and fluffy, about 2 minutes. Add the eggs one at a time, beating after each addition, until incorporated. Pour in the almond and vanilla extracts and whip until combined.
Sift together the flours, baking powder and salt in a mixing bowl. Add half of the flour mixture and half of the milk to the batter and beat on low speed just until combined. Scrape down the sides of the bowl. Add the remainder of the flour mixture and milk and beat on low speed until the batter is smooth and homogenous. Divide the batter equally among 4 small mixing bowls.
Use the gel food coloring to create 4 colors: Light green (3 drops neon green plus 1 drop black); dark green (3 drops leaf green plus 1 drop black); gray (2 drops black); and dark brown (3 drops dark brown).
Use small (2-tablespoon) ice cream scoops to drop dollops of the colored batters in random order into the prepared loaf pan. (The dollops should be small to create a camouflage pattern.)
Bake until a toothpick inserted in the center of the loaf comes out clean, about 1 hour 25 minutes. Allow to cool completely before removing from the pan.
For the maple cream sauce: Add the cream cheese, maple extract and 2 tablespoons water to a small saucepan over medium heat and let melt until combined (add more water if too thick). Remove from heat, then stir in confectioners' sugar until it has a nice creamy consistency. Drizzle over top of the cake and slice to serve.