Croque Big Daddy

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3 tablespoons unsalted butter, plus 2 tablespoons softened

1 jalapeno, seeded and finely diced

1/2 teaspoon seafood seasoning (recommended: Old Bay)

2 tablespoons all-purpose flour

2 cups whole milk

Salt and freshly ground black pepper

4 cups shredded Gruyere

1 cup shredded mozzarella

4 (1/2-inch) thick slices good quality maple baked ham

8 thick-cut slices hearty white bread