Cook the bacon in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat until just starting to crisp but still pliable, about 5 minutes. Remove 1 slice to a paper towel-lined plate. Continue cooking the remaining bacon until browned and crisp, 2 to 3 more minutes; remove to the plate. Halve the slice of less-cooked bacon lengthwise. Finely chop the remaining bacon.
Beat the cream cheese in a large bowl with a mixer on medium-high speed until smooth and creamy, about 2 minutes. Add the cheddar, scallions, Worcestershire sauce, hot sauce, a pinch of salt and the chopped bacon; beat until combined. Refrigerate until slightly firm, about 30 minutes.
Form the cheese mixture into 3 balls (about 2 inches, 2 1/2 inches and 3 inches). Refrigerate until firm, at least 30 more minutes.
Meanwhile, freeze the Monterey jack cheese 1 hour (this will make it less clumpy when grated). Grate the cheese on the small holes of a box grater. Gently press all over the cheese balls to coat completely. Put the 3-inch cheese ball on a small serving plate; insert a 4-inch wooden skewer into the middle. Stack the 2 1/2-inch and 2-inch balls on top, securing on the skewer.
Press the currants into the top cheese ball for eyes; add a carrot nose. Use the halved bacon to make a scarf and add rosemary sprigs for arms. Place the pretzel crisp on top for a hat brim. Cut off about one-third of the olive so that it sits flat; place on top of the pretzel crisp for the hat. Serve with more pretzel crisps.