Carne Asada: Combine 2 minced garlic cloves, 2 tablespoons lime juice and 1 teaspoon kosher salt; rub all over 8 ounces skirt steak and refrigerate 30 minutes. Grill over high heat, turning, until charred, 6 to 8 minutes. Let rest, then chop.
Super Melty Cheese (SMC): Melt 2 tablespoons butter in a saucepan over medium heat; add 1 tablespoon flour and whisk until smooth and toasted, 5 minutes. Whisk in 1 cup each whole milk and heavy cream; bring to a boil. Add 2 ounces each grated mild cheddar, monterey jack, Oaxaca and asadero cheese. Whisk until melted. Stir in a pinch each of cayenne and cumin, 1 tablespoon each minced pickled jalapenos and pickled jalapeno juice and 2 tablespoons pico de gallo. Remove from the heat and keep warm.
Black Beans: Rinse 1 cup dried black beans, then soak in water overnight; drain. Transfer to a saucepan, cover with water by 2 inches and bring to a boil; reduce to a simmer. Add 1/2 cup minced sweet onion, 1 clove minced garlic, 1/2 tablespoon kosher salt and 1 sprig epazote (or 1 teaspoon dried Mexican oregano). Simmer until the beans are tender, about 1 hour, adding more water as needed. Discard the epazote.
Make the carne asada, super melty cheese (SMC) and black beans (see above).
Spoon some of the SMC in a large tin can (an empty 110-ounce can works well, or you can use a pot or a metal bucket). Layer 1/4 pound tortilla chips one-quarter of the way up.
Spoon more SMC over the chips, then sprinkle with a layer each of carne asada and black beans. Sprinkle with pico de gallo, shredded cheddar, sliced jalapeno, crumbled Cotija cheese, sliced red onion, julienned radish and chopped cilantro; drizzle with Mexican crema.
Repeat to make 3 more layers of chips, SMC, meat, beans and toppings. Place a large round platter or tray on top of the nachos; invert onto the platter and remove the can. Garnish with more pico de gallo, cilantro, red onion and jalapeno.