For the filling: Bring a large pot of water to a boil. Add the lobsters and cook for 8 minutes. Remove from the pot and set aside until cool enough to handle.
For the cabbage slaw: Put the shredded cabbage in a large bowl. Add the garlic, ginger, fish sauce, oyster sauce, soy sauce and chile oil. Mix well. Add the cilantro, reserving some for garnish.
For the filling: Once the lobsters are cool enough to handle, remove and slice the lobster meat, adding half of it to a mixing bowl and the other half to the cabbage mixture. Toss the cabbage mixture and pour onto a serving platter. To the filling bowl, add the water chestnuts, garlic, ginger, shallots, fish sauce, oyster sauce, soy sauce, chile oil and sesame oil. Add the cornstarch and mix well.
Wet a dumpling wrapper on one side with water. Add 1 teaspoon of the filling to the middle and fold it over, crimping the edges with a fork. Continue with the remaining filling and dumpling wrappers.
Add the dumplings to a bamboo steamer basket as quickly as possible. Place the bamboo steamer over a large saute pan filled with simmering water. Steam until cooked through, 3 to 5 minutes.
Heat the butter and olive oil in a large saute pan over medium-high heat. Remove the dumplings from the basket and sauté them until golden brown on one side only, about 2 minutes.
Remove and arrange along the top of the cabbage slaw.
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