Celebrate Your Singlehood with These Breakup Cakes, Cookies and Treats

This Valentine's Day, we’re all about getting our "just desserts."

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February 01, 2023

Photo by: Heather Baird SprinkleBakes.com

Heather Baird SprinkleBakes.com

Breakups are really hard, but they’re also an inevitable part of life. Though we all wish that every relationship could end in a white picket fence or walk down the aisle, sometimes that just isn’t the case, and tears and hurt feelings come into play. And while you can — and should — deal with the end of a relationship in whatever way you choose, we’ve found baking and eating our frustrations to be the most effective way of getting over an ex. If you find yourself in the midst of heartbreak this upcoming Valentine’s Day, or you just want to celebrate the positives of being single (farewell, food sharing!!) give these celebratory breakup recipes and products a try. Not only will they make you feel a lot better, but you may even forget your ex existed in the first place.

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Want to jump straight to the "eating your feelings" stage of your breakup? Go ahead and place an order for one of these hearty products. Take it from us — cracking into them is just as good as therapy.

If simply thinking about your former lover fills you with a fiery wrath, cracking into this jumbo chocolate heart is sure to be cathartic. Nestled inside the completely edible creation, you'll find dozens of glittery dark chocolate and raspberry-flavored dragées, which, if we're being 100% honest, are so much better than a dozen roses anyways.

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This Valentine's Day, we're taking a page straight from Cher Horowitz's book and we're saying "as if" to all of our exes. You'll find that very same sentiment — and others like it — printed across each of these fudgy chocolate-covered brownies from Ohio-based sweet shop, Brownie Points. With inventive flavors like red velvet, buckeye, raspberry caramel and sticky cinnamon bun, these blissful treats will have you smiling again in no time!

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If your latest breakup has you feeling like your heart’s been frozen to stone, these bite-sized ice cream filled ones make a very appropriate gift to yourself. Nestled underneath a luscious shell of bright pink berry-flavored Belgian chocolate, you'll find melt-in-your-mouth vanilla ice cream.

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Looking for a more hands-on way to work through your broken heart this Valentine's Day? Ripping apart these heart-shaped pizzas from Tony Boloney's with your bare hands should do the trick! You'll get two pizzas with each order, plus 50 jumbo-sized garlic knots, which taste so much better once you realize you don't need to kiss anyone after eating them…

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If your breakup has you so mad that you want to break things, spare your flower vases and mugs, and smash this giant chocolate heart to bits instead. It's completely hollow and contains an assortment of candy treats inside, including heart-shaped chocolate-covered pretzels and lip-shaped gummies covered in sour sugar.

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If your breakup has you feeling like your heart's been ripped in two, this legendary dessert pizza from Sugar Plum Chocolates will be as symbolic as it is comforting. The milk chocolate-based creation is topped with a sweet-and-savory assortment of junk food favorites like crushed up pretzels, crumbled cookies and crispy potato chips. It also comes with a wooden mallet, which you can use to break it into smaller bite-sized pieces. So much better than crying into a box of tissues.

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Don't let the cutesy nature of these heart-shaped, marshmallow-filled hot cocoa bombs fool you — watching them disintegrate and melt away in your favorite coffee mug will give your broken heart a serious dose of healing comfort.

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Crushed up sugar cones, white and pink M&M's, chocolate cookie chunks, mini chocolate chips, sprinkles, broken up pretzels and white chocolate drizzle: those are just some of the yummy ingredients you'll find scattered throughout this colossal heart-shaped confection from Simply Chocolate. Like the chocolate pizza listed above, it also comes with a wooden mallet that's perfect for bashing, smashing and crashing this treat in whatever way to choose. No matter what, it'll be a big "hit" in your breakup story.

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Love bites literally with this safe-to-eat cookie dough variety pack from Dō. The set comes with a tasty assortment of the brand's signature and fan-favorite flavors like brownie-swirled Brookie Dough, sprinkle-studded Sugar Cookie and toasted marshmallow-filled Gimme S'more. Eat them all on your own or invite your bffs over for a movie night filled with laughs and sweets.

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$54.99 for 6

If you're looking to mend your heartbreak over the course of a few days, this "Break A Heart" gift set from Harry & David has you covered. Not only does it come with 6 miniature Belgian chocolate hearts, which you can break apart at a pace that reflects where you are in dealing with your breakup, but each one is also filled with an ample amount of chocolate chips and chocolate candies, so you'll be left with several days' worth of snacks too.

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Make It!

Want to really get your mind off of your former S.O.? Head to the kitchen and give one of these unique baking projects a try! Each recipe makes the perfect hands-on distraction, plus they both use an ample amount of chocolate — a must-have for dealing with heartache of any kind.

Photo by: Heather Baird SprinkleBakes.com

Heather Baird SprinkleBakes.com

Whether you make this pink frosted cake to enjoy alone or share it with a group of your other single friends, this playful take on traditional Valentine's Day conversation heart candies says it all...literally. Homemade fondant is the secret behind the sweet and edible appliques, which you can easily make in no time by combining melted marshmallows and confectioners' sugar.

Food Network Kitchen's Valentine’s Day Gooey Broken Heart Cookies

Food Network Kitchen's Valentine’s Day Gooey Broken Heart Cookies

Photo by: Matt


Looking for another physical way to deal with your heartbreak this Valentine’s Day? Ripping apart an entire tray full of these brightly-colored cookies should do the trick. Each heart-shaped treat is stuffed with a heaping tablespoon of chopped up chocolate-caramel candies, which'll result in a nice ooey gooey surprise once you finally wrap your hands around them after baking. Though the cookie dough requires a bit of time in the refrigerator — our test kitchen chefs recommend anywhere between three to 24 hours — we can think of quite a few things you can do to pass the time, like cutting the sleeves off all your ex’s shirts or belting along to your favorite break up anthem. Gloria Gaynor’s "I Will Survive" seems like a good one to start with.

Food Network Kitchen's Broken Heart Chocolate Cake, as seen on Food Network.

Food Network Kitchen's Broken Heart Chocolate Cake, as seen on Food Network.

Photo by: Tara Donne

Tara Donne

While we all wish we could crash our ex’s wedding and swap a big chunk of wedding cake with our bare hands a la Taylor Swift, life isn’t a music video. That being said, digging into this over-the-top dessert will have you feeling like the hero of your own breakup saga just the same. All you need to make the cake portion is a store-bought mix and a heart-shaped cake pan, but it’s the cake's glossy chocolate frosting and glistening sugar glass topping that really make it the ultimate anti-romance treat. To make the frosting, you’ll melt down an entire box of assorted mixed chocolates — bonus points if they just so happen to be your ex’s favorite brand. Making the sugar glass garnish is just as therapeutic; after 15 minutes in the refrigerator, you’ll even get to break it using a meat mallet! To get the most out of this soul-soothing experience, follow our lead and place a photo of your ex underneath the sugar glass before breaking it. You'll feel just like Beyonce...minus the fire hydrant and baseball bat.

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