Special equipment: a 9-by-5-by-3-inch metal loaf pan
Put a 9-by-5-by-3-inch metal loaf pan in the freezer to chill.
Pulse the pickles and brine in the carafe of a blender, then blend until pureed, about 1 minute. Strain the puree and discard any pulp. You should have about 1/3 cup pickle liquid.
Beat the cream cheese in a large bowl with a mixer on medium-high speed until smooth and creamy, about 1 minute. Add the condensed milk and pickle liquid to the cream cheese and continue to mix until smooth.
Whip the heavy cream in a large bowl with a mixer on medium-high speed until firm peaks form, about 2 minutes. Fold about 1 cup of the whipped cream into the condensed milk mixture with a rubber spatula until combined; this lightens it and allows the mixture to stay fluffy. Fold this lightened mixture into the whipped cream until well blended. Pour into the chilled loaf pan and freeze, covered, until scoopable, about 5 hours. Serve with sprinkles if desired.
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