Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil over high heat. Slice the cucumber rounds into matchsticks. If the bell pepper strips are very wide, slice them thinly, too. Add all the vegetables, lettuce, scallions, cilantro and tofu or egg if using to a large serving bowl, or arrange on a large platter.
Add the ramen to the boiling water and cook, stirring once or twice to separate, until al dente, about 90 seconds. Strain, transfer to a small bowl, toss with 1/2 teaspoon of the oil and add to the bowl or platter with the vegetables.
Toss the pork with the hoisin sauce in a medium bowl, and season lightly with salt and pepper. Heat 1 tablespoon of oil in a medium nonstick skillet over high heat until almost smoking. Add half the pork and stir-fry until the hoisin sauce chars a bit, about 45 seconds. Transfer the pork to the platter with the vegetables, spreading the slices out a bit so they don't steam. Wipe the pan clean with a paper towel, and repeat with the remaining tablespoon of oil and pork.
To serve, have everyone fill their lettuce leaves with noodles, pork and vegetables, sprinkle with the peanuts and top with a splash of dressing.
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