There are plenty of people for whom emotional support animals are a real help. Then there are those who push the whole concept a bit too far. (See, please, Patricia Marx’s 2014 hilarious take on emotional support animals in The New Yorker, in which she recounts her experience taking a pig onto an airplane, a turkey to the deli, a snake boutique-shopping, an alpaca to art galleries and more. It’s a classic.)

Floyd Hayes, a 47-year-old resident of Brooklyn, New York, surely falls into that second category: He tried to register his beer as an emotional support animal.

Wha?

Hayes, described on his website as a “Creative Director, Ideas Crafter and Consultant,” went on the USA Service Dog Registration website and entered in information for the 16-ounce pint glass of IPA he says offers him comfort when he goes out, Ale Street News reported in late December.

“I’m not permitted a dog in my building, so I thought an emotional support beer would be more appropriate. It helps alleviate my anxiety and is a cost-effective way to manage stress,” Hayes told the digital beer-news publication. “I’ve had trouble trying to take the pint onto public buses and into places of business, so I had the idea to get it registered.”

Hayes reportedly was able to get a registration number for his … um … pet beer – 1085780890, although that number nowreturns an “invalid” result when searched.

In a photo in Brooklyn Paper, which picked up the story last week, Hayes also shows off a certificate of registration he was able to get for his beer; he hopes it will persuade authorities to allow him to take his brewski on public transportation.

“I travel from upstate to Brooklyn a lot, and on the bus they say it’s a federal crime to smoke or have an alcoholic beverage unless by prior written consent, and I always wondered where you get that consent,” Hayes explained to the paper.

Hayes told the New York Post that the whole thing was really mostly “an experiment” and that he meant no disrespect to people who really do need emotional support animals.

He has not yet given his beer-on-the-bus gambit a try (maybe after he’s done observing Dry January), but someone at the service dog registration site suggested he probably wouldn’t have much luck.

“He can register his beer all day long,” she told the Brooklyn Paper, “it’s not going to get him anywhere.”

Apparently those registrations don’t hold much legal water – or beer, for that matter.

Photo: iStock

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