Put the broccoli, garlic and 1/4 cup water into a medium heat-safe glass bowl. Wet a paper towel and lay over the broccoli. Microwave until bright green and crisp-tender, about 3 minutes, depending on your microwave. Carefully remove the paper towel, transfer the mixture to a food processor (leaving any water behind in the bowl) and allow to cool for 5 minutes. Clean out the glass bowl and set aside.
Meanwhile, position a rack in the center of the oven and preheat to 400 degrees F. Line a baking sheet with parchment and set aside.
Add the scallion and parsley to the food processor. Pulse until the broccoli mixture is finely chopped and similar to the texture of rice. Transfer to the reserved bowl along with the whole egg, egg yolk, cayenne (if using), paprika, 1 1/2 teaspoons salt, a couple grinds of black pepper, almond flour and 3/4 cup of the Cheddar. Use your hands to mix everything together until well combined.
Scoop heaping tablespoons of the mixture onto the prepared baking sheet, spacing them evenly apart, for about 28 total. Lightly wet your hands, then roll each mound into a round ball, re-wetting your hands as needed. This helps keep your hands from becoming sticky and makes rolling the mix much easier to do. Spray the balls with the cooking spray and sprinkle the tops with the remaining 1 cup Cheddar, pressing it gently onto the tops to help it adhere.
Bake in the oven until the bites are light golden brown and cooked through, about 25 minutes, rotating the baking sheet once halfway through the cooking time.
For the ranch dipping sauce:
Meanwhile, combine the sour cream, mayonnaise, vinegar, garlic powder, onion powder, a large pinch salt, several grinds of black pepper, dill and parsley in a small bowl. Whisk to combine and season with more salt and pepper as desired.
Transfer the broccoli cheese bites to a platter and serve the ranch dipping sauce alongside.
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