Go ahead and pretend you don’t care what Gwyneth Paltrow eats in a day, but really, admit it (safe space!), you probably are a little curious.

A video food diary posted by Harper’s Bazaar this week scratches that itch you probably didn’t realize you had until now. In it, the Oscar-winning actress and Goop-errific lifestyle guru spills the tea on her own eating habits.

Clocking in at just over six and a half minutes, the video is, for inexplicable reasons, totally worth watching in full. But if you don’t feel like spending even a handful of minutes of your life watching Gwyneth talk about breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacking, well, here are a few takeaways.

1. First thing in the morning, Paltrow does something called “oil pulling” – an ancient ayurvedic oral-hygiene therapy in which a tablespoon of oil is swished around in the mouth for about 20 minutes before breakfast while the stomach is still empty and then spat out – with organic coconut oil. She chases it with “a large glass or two of water.” Then and only then does she drink her coffee and check her email.
2. Paltrow says she is “not a big breakfast person,” although sometimes on the weekends she enjoys brunch. Instead, on weekdays post-school-drop-off, she heads straight to the gym, where, in lieu of orange juice, she drinks water to which she adds a Vitamin-C powder called “Goop Glow.” “I’m obsessed with that stuff,” Paltrow says.
3. At work, after a shower, Paltrow will sometimes have a smoothie, preferably one with “some good fat and some protein and some fiber,” she says. Other times, she’ll enjoy a peanut butter protein bar she can’t remember the name of.
4. On the rare occasion she has a hangover, her go-to solution is an egg sandwich … or, um, an IV drip. (Weird celeb thing the rest of us wouldn’t understand, I guess.)
5. That’s all before lunch! For Paltrow, the midday meal generally consists of a salad with protein or the results of whatever detox recipes the Goop staff is testing.
6. In mid-afternoon, Paltrow will scavenge “the snack cupboard in the Goop office” (what, your office doesn’t have a snack cupboard?) looking for “something salty and crunchy,” like cashew nuts or pretzels. She’ll wash that down with a cup of green tea to tide her over until dinner. (Same! Minus the snack cupboard.)
7. Dinner might be Asian food or fish, with a side of noodles. There will definitely be a meat-free entrée on offer because Paltrow’s 15-year-old daughter, Apple, is a vegetarian. The actress is a big fan of one-pot meals, she says, and of dining early. “I always feel like I don’t sleep very well if I go to sleep very full, so I’ve gotten real geriatric about that, like, 6, 6:30 dinner time,” Paltrow shares with a self-amused smile. “It feels good!”
8. As for alcohol, Paltrow says she tries not to drink too much during the week, but some nights a cocktail just feels necessary. On those occasions, she’ll partake of a Japanese whiskey on the rocks or a Gibson. “That’s kind of my new thing. It’s like a vodka martini but with the cocktail onions,” she says, adding that it reminds her of her dad, the late director Bruce Paltrow. “It’s very my father … Basically, I’m turning into an old Jewish man.”
9. As for things she won’t eat, that list includes dill, which Paltrow reveals she “can’t stand”; “baby mammals,” so no veal or lamb; and octopus, “because they are super-smart,” she says.
10. Cheat meal: French fries and/or pasta.

See? Apart from the ayurvedic oil pull, the Goop glow in lieu of OJ, the IV drip, the fancy experimental and healthy lunches and “snack cupboard” on offer at her workplace, and the dill and octopus aversion, and, OK, a few other things, Gwyneth is just like us!

Photo: GettyImages

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